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Frozen Lullaby - lyrics

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When a man doesn’t love a woman very very much
He signs away his paternal rights and jizzes in a cup
Then with lots of money and scientific genius
Hormones, pain and of course, um… Jesus
The process begins the way god intended
With a transvaginal ultrasound
With a wand longer than a ukulele
When it comes out of my body, it makes this sound (pop)
I give myself daily intradermal injections
An acute blood thinner and estrogen concurrence
Cryopreservation through hormonal activation
And none of it’s covered by insurance
Then I’m knocked out and you’re removed
And combined with a stranger’s come
And as the saying goes
You win some, you lose some/you dispose of the defective ones in a hazardous waste bin
And then you’re frozen until I’m certain
It’s time to unthaw you into a person
Then you’ll expire or you’ll make the grade
And that, my darling, that’s how babies are made
(It’s so easy and natural)
Hush little egg baby don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna freeze you til she gets rich
And when that day finally arrives
You’ll be constructed in a petri dish
With sperm donor 8w6-3
The silent partner of our family
So hush little egg baby don’t be sad
Just because I never fucked your dad
I know there are orphans everywhere
But I’m going to pretend that isn’t real
Don’t look at me like that just cause I admit it
You had kids and you knew the deal
Yeah I feel guilty about overpopulation
And ruining the environment for forever
But Osama Bin Laden had 20 kids
So fuck you or whatever
Sadly procreation is not a meritocracy
And we need to prevent a real life Idiocracy
Though it may be the ultimate form of narcissism
It’s also a way to re-reverse reverse Darwinism
Gonna mute the sound of that ticking clock
I just need the sperm now I don’t need the cock
My ovaries are like hey girl I’m over here
And I’m all like shhhh
I want all the stuff I don’t need a bucket list
It doesn’t make me greedy it just makes me feminist
Now I’m thinking back through all the guys I’ve dated
If they heard this song they’d fucking hate it
Hush little egg baby don’t you cry
You’ll have the best genes mommy can buy
I don’t want to wait until I get in dire straights
My friends say if I want kids I should go out on some dates
But these working bitches don’t have time to leave it to the fates
The world deserves more Riki’s and the world deserves more Kate’s
So hush little egg baby dad’s are overrated
He did what mattered when he masturbated
Hush little egg baby just hold firm
Mama’s gonna buy you designer sperm
And if that sperm gives you random traits
Mama’s gonna test your dna
And if your dna doesn’t make things clear
Mama’s gonna just have to live in fear
And if that fear turns into guilt
Mama’s gonna hold onto what we built
And if I hold too tight as to suffocate
I’ll buy you lots of things to overcompensate
And if that overcompensation’s too transparent
I’ll pretend it’s somehow better with no male parent
And if you say but mom who’s my dad
I’ll say I don’t know and it’s just too bad
And if that badness forms a hole in your heart
I’ll want to make it up to you but won’t know where to start
I’ll probably start by saying it’s just you and me
And there’s no such thing as a normal family
So fuck being normal and let’s do this shit
Momma’s gonna freeze you til she… gets…. rich

Lyrics was added by Babselle

Video was added by Babselle