But I tried to do some part-time work, and, it wasn't happening
It was too, overwhelming
'Cause that's one of the major things with depression that I've experienced
It's just this really crippling sense of being overwhelmed
By things that aren't even my responsibility
Like, I remember driving with my mom places and we'd be going to the grocery store or something, and we'd drive by a construction site, and suddenly I would just feel crushed by the, the thought of having to go to this construction site!
It's like, why? It's not even my responsibility
And so, actually having any responsibility was out of the question
So that summer, for sure, I could not work
But after the hospitalization, following the suicide attempt, from that point forward, I've been able to work pretty consistently
But the upside of being very upfront with my, my bosses and my supervisors has been that, I mean, 'cause there have been times where I've had to say, 'Hey, I need to manage, like, some hypomania
So, I'm gonna take this day off because I have to take this medication, and because of this medication, I won't be able to work this day.'
Um, so you know, kind of like managing any other medical issue; do this and that
With depression, a lot of times I'll tell my employers, 'I'm having a tough time right now.'
It doesn't usually impair my ability to work, but it affects me and I have to be honest with them about what's going on"