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The Venerable Thomas Crapper - lyrics

MY NAME IS THOMAS CRAPPER
NOW WON’T YOU TAKE A SEAT
INVENTOR OF THE TOILET
MY LIFE WAS PRETTY NEAT
YOU MAY NOT KNOW MY STORY
I BUILT THE PORCELAIN THRONE
IT MAKES ME FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
TO SEE ONE IN YOUR HOME
WHEN I WAS JUST A LAD AND GROWING UP (IN YORKSHIRE)
MY DEAR PAPA HE SAT ME ON HIS KNEE
HE SAID MY SON, NOW YOU’RE A WHIPPERSNAPPER
BUT SOON YOU’LL BE A MAN, YOU’LL BE A CRAPPER
MY NAME IS THOMAS CRAPPER
SO PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW
YOU’LL ALWAYS THINK ABOUT ME
EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO GO
YOU MAY NOT KNOW MY STORY
I BUILT THE PORCELAIN THRONE
IT MAKES ME FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
TO SEE ONE IN YOUR HOME
AND WHEN I WAS ELEVEN I SET OUT (FOR LONDON)
I KNEW THE ART OF PLUMBING WAS MY CALL
APPRENTICE TO A PLUMBER, WISE AND DAPPER
HE PAVED THE WAY FOR ME TO BE A CRAPPER
MY NAME IS THOMAS CRAPPER
NOW LET’S TAKE A POLL
RESULTS ARE IN AND PEOPLE SAY
“EFFECTIVE ON THE WHOLE!”
YOU MAY NOT KNOW MY STORY
I BUILT THE PORCELAIN THRONE
IT MAKES ME FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
TO SEE ONE IN YOUR HOME
I SET UP SHOP IN 1861 (IN CHELSEA)
WITH MARLBORO WORKS AND COMPANY BY MY SIDE
I MET A FAIR YOUNG LASS, MY LOVE DID TRAP HER
AND SHE BECAME MY WIFE, MY LADY CRAPPER
*Whistling*
THE TOILET IS NOW USED BY EVERYONE
ALL OVER
IN BATHROOMS, WATER CLOSETS
OR THE LOO
MY PATENTS, THEY DID PUT ME ON THE MAP, SIR
THE VENERABLE THOMAS CRAPPER
MY NAME IS THOMAS CRAPPER
AND HERE’S THE TRUTH MY FRIEND
I’VE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT YOU
FROM BEGINNING TO THE END
NOW YOU KNOW MY STORY
I BUILT THE PORCELAIN THRONE
IT MAKES YOU FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
IT MAKES ME FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
IT MAKES US FLUSH WITH PRIDE TODAY
TO SEE ONE IN YOUR HOME!

Lyrics was added by MartiB


World's Worst Musical

World's Worst Musical lyrics